Laurence Parsons

The man:

Laurence Parsons is agreed by most historians of the day to have been born sometime in England at the late 17th century to God-fearing and aristocratic parents who shunned the child away from the evils of the world and wanted him to become a church minister. Disregarding their advice, Laurence worked tirelessly on aquiring informaion outside of his house and eventually decided to make a break for the nearest wagon to London, where he appears to have vanished of all traceable records, unitl the late 1780s. From there, we can trace the bizzare story of Laurence through the pages of history until we come to today.

The legend:

Due to his infamous dissapearing acts, Laurence is not known to be the same Laurence of the early 1700s. Some claim it is a string of look-a-likes that Laurence had fathered from illicit lovers, others claim that he used his talents of medicines to uncover the elixir of life and hoarded it all for himself. What we know is this much: there are continuing reports and uncomfirmed eye witness reports that Laurence is still alive and well with us today, but these are hard to verify. Several archives from the kremlin show Laurence sitting on a sofa next to Joseph Stalin, whilst others from Whitehall recall how "Mr. Churchill spent his evening drinking with a poorly dressed lout, with uncombed hair and a foppish manor.", But Churchill later denied these claims and said "I never met the man."

Why is he so hard to find out?

Several portaits of European monarchs and photographs of the seemingly barren countryside do all seem to show a man, who fits Laurence's description, wearing heavy boots and other poor choices in clothing appear through history- the most famous of which is Laurence by the window of a portrait of Napoleon, looking out into the streets of Paris. France later denied these claims, as did England when one young artist claimed to have painted the Duke of Wellington standing next to Laurence sometime in 1812. When a week later the artist was found dead in a shallow ditch. He was to vanish from all record and though until 1922, where he calimed to bring down the Ottoman empire. Admist the collapsing chaos, he again vanished.

Laurence today:

A man claiming to be Laurence Parsons emerged in popular society around 2005, and has been its ever-present agitator. Due to his grumpiness, tiredness and hatred for all sentient life, it does seem possible this is the same Laurence Parsons we have seen through history. Now under the watchful eye of the government, Laurence did escapse the eyes of everyone during the summer of 2007, around the same time the financial market collapsed. Police investigated, but were again met with dead ends and had to let him go under lack of evidence. He currently resides in a small shithole, enjoys classical music, the company of friends and sticking 2 fingers up at modern society.